THE CHALLENGE OF MARRIAGE

IKA WEEKLY – Which reminds me of another canker worm now eating deep into today’s matrimonial way of life; the hydra-headed “Oyibo mentality. “There is this indiscriminate and immodest application of foreign customs in many homes in this country today. As a result of this, many married socialite wives no longer subscribe to the norms of marital compatibility. This is probably the handiwork of the “Women Lib.” movement, but the truth of the matter is that our culture does not encourage the husband to wash dishes after meals, nor does it allow the husband to go to Dugbe market to buy garri and fish. Traditionally, these are the wife’s jobs.

                

Are you practicing this foreign mentality, which contradicts our traditional norms in your home? If yes, is it fair for you to antagonize your husband for resisting it, knowing fully well that such a practice will portray the woman as master of the house? Is this what you want? For friends and relations to call your husband “woman-wrapper?” It is because the man’s ego will not allow him to play second fiddle in a home where he is supposed to be first-mate, that he moves out and stays out late to avoid constant clashes.

                

However, your husband can be the predisposing factor himself, because he is a born flirt or because he suddenly found himself saddled with extra money. I agree there are men of this kind with butterfly nature who always have some new women in mind. But in your own case, is it not possible you nudged him into deep sea flirting directly or indirectly by your untidy, dirty self? Honestly, when did you really look at the mirror last? Did you see your shabby unkempt appearance that I am seeing now? And what did you do about it? Nothing.

                

Your husband expects a certain degree of cleanliness and decency from you. Your sitting room is not presentable, your bedrooms are disorganized and your kitchen is worst with needless clutter. Maintaining hygienic standards is not always easy, but the cost of loosing your husband is more expensive. That you are training growing up young children is no excuse to be dirty or to wear rags. Do not unknowingly turn yourself into your husband’s “mother” by recklessly neglecting yourself.

                

Look around you and see the other women who are well groomed and always gorgeously dressed and the young bouncing girls in their mini-skirts and see-through topless blouse trying their utmost to draw the attention of your husband to their sexual overtures. Then you can appreciate the amount of sexual pressure the overtures of these outside women create for your husband and how your dirty home environment can easily push him out. You can help your ageing body and enhance your physical attractiveness by being clean and wearing good clothes. Be neat and presentable at any given time, so that you do not have to apologize for your shabby appearance or feel embarrassed each time your husband comes home. You have good clothes in your boxes, wear them. Parties and Sunday do not come every day, but you will need your neatly dressed charming self-everyday to keep your husband within your home.

                

The world today is very different from that of our parents. Each new day bring a change, but unfortunately, this change is not so much for moral goodness. Virtues of yester-years are now regarded as primitive. The very things which were taboos before, are now fashionable. In the same vain, the stability, which characterized marriages of yester-years, is no longer there, because a number of the safety valves have been unplugged. And now, in today marriage of educational or financial equals there is always the strong urge to assert independence since the marriage partners are marital equals, defying all traditional marital norms. But unfortunately, these tendencies to sidetrack tested traditional norms and biblical injunctions exert corrosive influence, which are detrimental to the marriage institution.

 

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