IKA WEEKLY – Last week, emphasis was laid on the need to save our souls so that we should enjoy everlasting happiness in the kingdom, which the Almighty God has prepared for the righteous.
Earlier on, we have also discussed on how we, the Christians can have regular communication with God in a father and son relationship in order to be able to answer the operative question, “what is the truth”?
This week, we are treating the word, CONFLICT. The meaning, the good and evil aspects of conflict.
Conflict is a misunderstanding between two or more persons, it could be anything within you or intention, disagreement between a person and his neighbour or opposition of an interest, mutual interference or a state of incompatibility between persons.
Conflict can arise when your views are incompatible with that of the other person or persons, it can also arise when there is an interference with another manâ€™s stand or opinion and this can lead to physical fight as it often happens in political and religious circles.
What do we do as practical religious men and women to avoid the pit- falls of conflict?
This question has to be answered because cumulative disagreements or conflicts in a large scale could ruin our religious obligations, if special care is not taken.
Those who survive the mighty pangs of conflict are those who can easily learn from past mistakes and urgently correct them, while those who are buried in the debris of conflict are those with fight-to-finish syndrome.
In other words, if the ensueing conflict degenerate into total disbandment of a proposal or project, it could lead to loss of a life ambition or career.
SUPPRESSIVE IDEOLOGY: Many people, particularly Christians in an attempt to address conflict adopt suppression. In this method, a man can suppress anger, and misunderstanding no matter the degree of provocation. A lot of people see this method as sweeping the matter that would have been out, once and for all, under the carpet, forgetting that any thing buried alive must surely resurface some day.
My advice is that Christians should not shy away when conflict stare them on the face because utter negligence in handling an explosive matter may cause it to burst and spread like a bush fire and cause incalculable destruction to the fabric of the society.
Another way some people try to generate conflict is through self expression without due regard or consideration for other person.
They think that by saying whatever they like without element of control is the best way. That is why some of them commit murder with their tongues, and pour rubbish on other person without control thereby causing a lot of damage to themselves and to the society at large. It must be noted that no one can settle conflict with verbal garbage, self assertion or murderous statements against an opponent.
How then can we resolve conflict or misunderstanding whenever they occur?
WITHDRAWAL METHOD. This method of resolving conflict gives the impression that a particular person is a saint because any time there is trouble or problem he or she sneaks away and avoid the scene so that he should not be connected. Such persons do not contribute to resolving a conflict as they lack the knowledge of what Jesus Christ told His listeners in holy the book, “if you are about going to alter to give offering and you remember that you are in conflict with your “brother” leave the offering first go back home and resolve your difference” before coming to give your offering.
WINNING SYNDROME: There are people who always want to win in any arrangement, business transactions, family, local or community misunderstanding. The winning syndrome does not always help, because one cannot win when he is at fault.
Manipulation tendency: Both men and women are guilty of this tendency because while the men use their under dog to intimidate the women folk, and make them feel that they are inferior and less intelligent, the women on the other hand, capitalize on menâ€™s weaknesses or weak point to manipulate them. In this case the weaker ones will always give in to avoid trouble, not because they are wrong but because they do not want trouble, and it is dangerous to successful living.
COMPROMISE: This tendency is fraught with corruption because of the saying, “if you scratch my back I will scratch your back”. It can also lead to the formation of dangerous clicks within, an organization, such as trade Union, Political Party or within a community.
RESOLUTION METHOD: This is the best method if the person or persons involved in conflict bare their minds and explain why they said or did that caused the trouble, and agreed to abide with resolutions reached at a round table, to forgive and forget one another.
Resolution is the best method, instead of withdrawing from an explosive conflict in order to curry favour as the best in the society, or fighting to win always or manipulate a situation so that people will see you as the best person or subject yourself to unholy compromises.