Dear Teresa
I have a problem that is making me unhappy and I hope you will be able to help me sort out myself. There is a co-worker who is also a good friend. We have visited each other many times and therefore we know each other’s family. A few months ago, when I noticed that my friend’s wife was visiting an out of town hotel, that I visit also, with a particular man, I fell I had a duty to warn my friend. So, I told him to observe the movements of his wife because I suspected she was having an affair with an other man. But in stead of observing and confirming my report, the man went straight to his wife and confronted her with story. Of cause the woman denied it and immediately came to my house to vibrate, accusing me of trying to destroy her marriage. Now I am ashamed of myself because I feel embarrassed if we meet in the office, because we are no longer friends. I thought I was trying to help a friend save his marriage but have only succeeded in killing our friendship. Now every one calls me a gossiping man and this makes me feel bad. Is there anything I can do to normalize the situation again?
Julius Isioma
By E-Mail
Dear Julius
Your case is a pathetic one. Maybe a better way out would have been to warn the woman herself against the bad she was doing since you were familiar with her. But do not feel bad about the step you took because that was another correct way you took. Unfortunately, your friend reacted wrongly. If he had confirmed before confrontation, it would have been a different story today. But now you are the villain and even if your friend has a re-think, I do not see how his wife can ever forgive you. Therefore, I will ask you to leave things as they are now and forget their friendship. With time you will put the incidence behind you all and you will make new friends too.
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